11th Day of Christmas

You didn’t think my 12 days of Christmas would stop at 10 did you? The next two posts will be the post Christmas wrap up, guiding you though the days following the whirlwind holiday (or wedding) weekend.

How do you recover from the holidays with etiquette and poise? The first thing you need to do is make a list (before you forget any important details). Write down each gift, who it was from, and why you like or appreciate it. My best intention is to keep a list while I am receiving gifts, but this is not always easy so I make a routine of jotting thoughts down as I put things away. New socks, thank you mother-in-law. Delicious coffee and homemade peppermint brownies, thank you Aunt Robin and Uncle Bobby.

Now let’s tackle the task of writing the thank you note, and all the questions that come with it! First, remember that everyone has written a thank you note at some point or another, so you are not alone. Things to remember before you start:

- The thank you note is about expressing thanks, so remember to emphasize this
- The thank you note should be about the gift giver, not you. (try to limit the use of “I” or “we”)
- Be sure to mention why the gift is special and/or how you will use it
- All thank you’s should be hand written and hand addressed. No short cuts allowed for this gesture. And no e-mail thank you’s allowed!
- A thank you note need not be long, only thoughtful.

Who should you write a thank you note for?
Everyone. Anyone who gives you a gift, or opens their home as a host to you during the holidays should receive a gift. The one exception: there is no need to send a thank you for a thank you. For example, you are hosting Christmas dinner, and a guest show up with a bottle of wine. This hostess gift is an expression of gratitude and you should not send a thank you.

How long do you have after receiving a gift to send your thank you note?
The rules for this vary, but the sooner the better. I try to get my Christmas thank you note done the weekend after new years. A month is a good guide, but do not fret, a late note is always better than no note at all.
Wedding Tip: I took the week after my honeymoon off from work. This time helped me get established in our new home and also provided ample time to write my thank you notes almost immediately.

How do you get through a long list of thank you’s to write?
It is best to break up your thank you note writing into a few sessions, particularly if you have more than 10 notes to write. You want to be sure that each note is heartfelt and that your words do not get stale. Schedule a few different days to write your notes, and provide yourself an incentive to get each batch done. Here is a tip from Emily Post: “Take the time to yourself for writing out thank-you notes: don’t try and wedge it in between laundry, a TV show and extra work from the office. You’ll be able to think more clearly and your focus will translate to the page. Above all, try to enjoy yourself. Giving thanks shouldn’t be a chore—and doesn’t have to be if you make the effort to keep it interesting.”


A Thank you note has six parts. Follow these steps and you should get through your thank you notes with poise and etiquette in no time.

1. Greeting:
Be sure to write “Dear__(insert name)______,” This is really the only greeting line format you should use, all other formats are too informal for a thank you.

2. Say Thank You:
The first two words in the body of your note should be “Thank you…”
For example: Thank you so much for the slippers. Thank you for opening your home and hosting Christmas Dinner.

Beware: Never directly mention money. Instead of saying, ‘Thank you for the hundred bucks’ write, ‘Thank you for your generosity.’

Other useful phrases:
Thank you for your kindness.
Thank you for your hospitality.
Your generosity is greatly appreciated.
You were so thoughtful. (notice the emphasis on the gift giver/the person who you will be sending this thank you note to)

3. Explain why the gift is great or how it will be used:
Say something nice about the item and how you will use it. “The slippers are so comfortable, I wear them all the time.” If the gift was monetary, discuss how it might be used. “We look forward to putting your gift towards a new DVD player.”
Beware: Do Not Lie
Even if you do not care for a gift, you must be thankful for it. Find the one thing about them that’s nice and discuss it—but don’t get carried away.
For example: “Thank you for the sweater, it will certainly be warm for the winter.” Is more honest than, “Thank you for the sweater; I cannot wait to wear it.”


4. Focus on the Gift Giver
For example, “It was great to see you over the holidays, and we look forward to seeing you again soon.” Or “We missed seeing you for Christmas; perhaps we could get together this spring.”
Or if there are someone you will not likely see for a while mention that you think about them, “You are in my thoughts and I hope you are well.” Or, “We wish you the best in the coming year.”


5. Say Thank You (yes, again!)
Thanks again for your gift.
It’s not overkill to say thanks again. So say it.


6. Close the Letter
Here are some useful phrases for your closing:
Love,
Warm wishes,
Yours truly,
With love,
Warm regards,
Sincerely,

Then sign your name and you’re done. Just be sure to use a closing that is an appropriate representation of your relationship with the gift giver. (Tip: Don’t use “love” or “yours truly” for co-workers)